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Wily winning: A manual of mutating political philosophy – January 19, 2009

By Joseph Randolph
web posted January 19, 2009

Dear M. 

"Recounts" are never a liability for us, only assured assets; they are truly opportunities awaiting response from us.  We simply manufacture the needed votes for our candidate until we have enough to make that candidate the winner.  Then we "find" these ballots.  Of course there will be objections from our opponents, because there always are—but we simply persist with our principle of "counting all the votes."  We utter this mantra ad infinitum, and few dare to ask where the votes came from that we are counting.  This insistence on counting all the votes immediately puts our opponent at a grave disadvantage in the public eye, for it looks as if he is trying to obstruct the very thing we are intent to ensure.  Meanwhile, we continue to procure and where necessary produce ballot after ballot until our candidate has more ballots in his favor than the opponent.  Any protest against our efforts will be met with the principled axiom that we simply wanted all the votes counted.  We include even the ones we manufacture.  Remember, we do not work for nothing, but for getting elected.   We expect and get rewards for our efforts. 

Nevertheless, to detour scrutiny away from ourselves and onto safer terrain, we talk about the voters rather than our vote finders and counters.  This of course is one more time and occasion to get mileage out of the "disenfranchised" voter, for we will contend that bullies are using intimidation and clubs to keep the "wrong" kind of voter away from the voting booth.  Of course this "disenfranchised" voter is the voter who favors us and our candidates.  All other things aside, our opponent knows that these voters are our voters and that the disenfranchised voting bloc belongs to us and not to him.  The disenfranchised voter, our voter, has trouble getting himself to the voting booth.  He is not blocked from access to the booth as we contend about our opponents; he is his own block.  That does not matter, however, for we accommodate his disability in getting him to the voting place.  His trouble is our opportunity.  This in itself makes him a tremendous resource for us.  Therefore we get him to the place and better, lots like him.  We go into every alley and side street and back street and ravine and gorge and cavern and tavern to pull out these voters, because their votes will overwhelmingly vote for us.  Our opponent knows this, but he is hard pressed to do much about it, because he knows these voters are simply exercising their lawful right to vote.  And all votes are equal; the winner is the winner by having more votes, not better votes.  Quantity is all that matters when it comes to voting; quality is irrelevant.  The vote of an idiot is equivalent to the vote of an intellectual. 

Thus, we can ensure and ultimately guarantee an election outcome by hauling out masses of the ignorant vote that possesses smarts enough to favor us over our competitors, after this non-voting but near-majority has been coaxed by us to vote for us.  By extending this sort of push for gang voting as a way of ensuring votes for victory, in time we will be capable of producing enough voters like these to win virtually any and every election.  Meanwhile, these same voters—who have hardly any investment in the country which produces their entitlements—run the country with their votes.  These "powerless" or the "disenfranchised," whichever term you prefer, now can have ultimate power because we have empowered them to have power by voting for us.  They will thus become the new and very large luxury class, who pay virtually nothing in exchange for most everything.  If Father materialist Marx turned spirit-led Hegel upside down, this will turn Father upside down.  The disenfranchised will have the power to run the country.  The servant has become the master, and the old master is now slaving for his prior servant while he, the old master, is accordingly abused as the former servant was.  A beautiful turn of history—and all due to us!!

You may think this scenario far into the future, but it is closer than you think.  Just look at the burgeoning number of voters these days that pay hardly a cent in taxes due to our lovingly conceived progressive tax code, complete with credits of a casino sort, except they are assured.  As we recruit more voters from this group of people, we still have seen only the tip of the iceberg.  Those voters who don't cast a vote—who exist as the other half of the public that could vote— will belong to us and dangling enough promised money and goodies in front of them to persuade them to vote for us will not be difficult.  It will not require a lot of excessive toil.  They are an untapped minefield for us.  When we tap a sufficient number of them, we will hardly need to bother with a campaign anymore.  And when a campaign becomes unnecessary an election will become unnecessary.  The "will of the people" will stoutly will that we have power for all time.  They, on their part, can have uninterrupted time in their sand box, knowing that we will always supply them with sand. 

On this point we are precisely the opposite of our opponents, one of whom famously said that he did not want the people voting who do not vote.  Our view is the opposite.  With our  working philosophy elections are won for us, and when they are not—or undecided—making a recount necessary, we help with the voting, and make sure all the votes are counted, as we find more and more to count. ESR

 Joseph Randolph is a writer and academic who lives in Wisconsin.


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