Why I think I'll vote for a Democrat this time around

By Steve Martin
web posted February 7, 2000

Just in case anyone cares,

I am voting Democratic this time around in the November elections.


Well, they believe in treating people differently according to the color of their skin.

They believe in embracing and glorifying homosexuality.

They believe it's OK to kill babies in the womb or even while they are being born.

They believe in keeping kids locked in a failing public school system.

They believe it's OK for a teacher to contradict the moral teachings of a parent.

They believe in dismantling our military while our enemies strengthen theirs.

They believe that the welfare state needs to be expanded.

They believe that crimes committed by politicians should be severly dealt with, unless the perpetrators happen to be Democrats.

They believe that a huge, centralized, inefficient government, is better than the described in the Constitution.

They don't really have a problem with illegal immigration - more potential votes for them.

They believe that the Founding Fathers were a bunch of selfish racists with ulterior motives.

They believe that the Constitution is a living, breathing document. ( In other words they can change the rules whenever they feel like it)

They believe in illegally obtaining FBI files with which they can use to smear their opponents or negotiate some silence.

They believe in jury nullification.

They believe that the money you earn is really theirs to spend how they see fit. It's up to them how much you can keep.

They believe that the only people that should have guns are those that obtain them illegally, or those in government.

They believe that there is something inherently evil about someone working hard and becoming wealthy.

They believe in teaching children to feel really good about themselves without achieving anything really good.

They believe in letting people in foreign lands decide issues for and about us that aren't any of their business.

They believe in telling businesses who they can hire, when they can hire them, and how much to pay.

They believe in pitting our citizens against each other. Black against white, women against men, poor against rich, gay against straight, secular against spiritual.

They believe it's not a problem for a trade union to force it's members to support ideas and agendas to which the members disagree, as long as those ideas and agendas are their ideas.

They believe in accepting donations from potential enemies in order to get their guy elected.

They believe in letting terrorists go free before they've served out their sentences, to try and capture a certain group's votes.

They believe that certain types of thoughts can be crimes.

They believe that anyone that disagrees with them, for whatever reason, is truly evil.

They believe in many other illogical and counter-productive if not down right destructive ideas...but I don't believe you have the time to read them all. If you happen to catch any of the Democratic Party's debates on the tube, I'm sure they'll mention many more doozies !

Yep, it's gonna be tough to choose from Al Gore and Bill Bradley come November.

Maybe I'll just go for the one that throws out the biggest doozy.

Steve Martin is kidding, he isn't really going to vote Democrat.

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