The American songbook
By Michael Moriarty
I went North, he went South and the extent of my growing admiration for Mark Steyn became, for me at least, the question: why did a conservative, a radically hilarious conservative, emigrate from Canada to an increasingly Progressive America, a nation where even Republicans like Bush and McCain want to adopt illegal aliens?
Meanwhile, I, the most disillusioned of former liberals, embittered by a firsthand experience with the Clinton administration, end up in Big Mamma Canada, former play land of Pierre Trudeau and, when I arrived, Trudeau's own version of Dutch Schultz, Jean Chretien. I first arrived in Halifax while Dutch Chretien was video-taped almost throttling one of the welfare elite he had been elected to play Godfather to.
Hmmm … oh, well, both Trudeau and Chretien are gone and Stephen Harper is becoming Canada's own Ronald Reagan while poor Mr. Steyn has to endure at least four years of The One.
In short, I think I came out the winner, although, having as the butt of his humor this Progressive Gang That Can't Govern Straight must be comforting for Mr. Steyn.
However, his wit is much too great to remain merely partisan. In that respect, he is our contemporary Mark Twain.
All he needs to do now is a spin on Huckleberry Finn, with "Jim" the runaway slave as America, "Huck" as Stephen Harper's Canada and all Progressives as the pursuing socialist slavers, Clinton and Obama in the lead.
Some of the President's more ardent disciples might feel obliged to give such pundits as Mr. Steyn a few "offers he can't refuse" … well, the Obama Nation will obviously be knocking on Rush Limbaugh's door more than once before they're ordered, via secret phone line, to "please, for the sake of unity, ignore Mark Steyn so visibly that … well … Mark Steyn shuts up".
Hmmm … they don't know Mark Steyn.
As with the history of most immigrants to America, Mark Steyn is the most American of Americans. No one, except perhaps the late Alec Wilder, knows more about the American Songbook than Steyn.
I just finished his very touching turn on the authors of Ain't Misbehavin. With all the distant respect of a conservative, the sexual innuendoes of black patois become the only possible release from the pain of, at one time mind you, being black in America.
These days, however, that part of the American Songbook is decidedly over. We are being sold a new version of Billy Holiday's Strange Fruit. Though water-boarding is being painted as the equivalent of racist lynching, the ugly job of interrogation will still be out-sourced to Jordan, Syria and Egypt by the consigliore, the big admirer of Francis Ford Coppola's Godfather, President Barack Obama, who, no doubt, has been a respectful admirer of not only Marlon Brando but Frank Sinatra as well.
Now there's a Songbook!
His rendition of Making-offers-no-one-can-refuse is not "change we can believe in". It's now a CIA rendition of The One's increasingly popular hit, Doin' The Hypocrite Shuffle.
However, the pain of such out-sourcing … hmmm … is all for a good cause, right? It is merely the pain of being a radically Progressive President in America, and, much to my satisfaction, Mark Steyn will not make the job any easier for President Obama.
So when I went North, Steyn went South … and, although I truly believe the future is looking rosier for me up here than for Mr. Steyn down there, I'm very grateful he's in the States to constantly remind Americans that they're falling asleep at the wheel and the "vehicle politic", so to speak, is headed for the Grand Canyon. Senator Lindsay Graham described this black comedy as President Obama going "AWOL"!
Americans are now extras in a new version of Thelma and Louise starring not one but two Presidents in Progressive drag, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, a harsh wind blowing through their stimuli and their hit renditions. As a dramatic twist to the original plot, they're dragging a rather large hitch behind their convertible, one that contains all the rest of America.
We're already hearing cries for help from some Democrats lashed into the trailer by Nancy Pelosi. The unanimity over the Stimulus is a chorus singing the Progressive Songbook, a pack of team players that sound increasingly out of tune as they continue to dance to their national anthem, Doin' The Hypocrite Shuffle.
I will say, however, one must admire President Obama's magical sleight of hand as he shuffles and deals the cards while at the same time shooting three-pointers from the mainstream media's corner of what once was King Clinton's Court. President and Mrs. Obama are America's most stylish political couple since the Kennedys. Even his admission to having "screwed up" is all a part of his charming mastery.
I also believe it will prove him to be a master of understatement.
Michael Moriarty is a Golden Globe and Emmy Award-winning actor who starred in the landmark television series Law and Order from 1990 to 1994. His recent film and TV credits include The Yellow Wallpaper, 12 Hours to Live, Santa Baby and Deadly Skies. Contact Michael at firstname.lastname@example.org.