The ESR Create Your Own Crisis Kit
By Gord Gekko
If you've been watching the left for any time you should have noticed that there is a method to their insanity. By following a simple process, any leftist can create change in society. The only prerequisites are the abilities to ignore facts, miss-state the truth and couch their beliefs in feel-good statements. As the ambassador of knowledge, I cannot allow conservatives to now know how this process works, so here I present The ESR Create-Your-Own-Crisis Kit! With this kit, you can fool people and get almost anything done!
How does it work? If only reality were this simple! Out of the four steps, there are only two tasks you have to do, one rest period and one optional task. The rest is done by your stooges who "feel the call" that you've sent out. I've poached some of the outlining of this procedure from Thomas Sowell and Rush Limbaugh, with an addition from me.
Your first step is to simply declare a crisis. Send out some press releases, or if you're important enough, outline during a major speech how some situation is becoming grave. It doesn't matter if the problem actually exists, just make it sound plausible enough for the public. One way to do this is to simply ride one issue on another. An example. Feminists declared that assaults on women jumped as much as 50 per cent when the Super Bowl was being played. Sound plausible? Sure it does if your I.Q. resides in double figures. That number was exposed as very false and the women who first used it 'admitted' their error...but it got more money flowing to feminist organizations to combat the evils of men.
The next step is to propose solutions. If they pander to the worst instincts of society, so much the better. Blame previous administrations for the current problems. Use feel-good statements like "brother's keeper" and "we're all in it together". Your actual solutions have nothing to do with the problems. Lobby (or if you're in government, raise taxes) for more money to be spent on your solutions to the problems. Since the problem was never real, the money spent will never get anything done, except to increase your power base (do remember to always remind people you're the one who solved the problem). Remember, the solution sounds good on paper and only 'works' there.
Your next step is to lie back and (for now) enjoy the fruits of your labour. What? You just passed a Gun Control Bill? Great! It won't stop one killing from taking pace, but it sure sounds great and it makes people feel good. You wish that people would stop talking about nebulous concepts like freedom and reality since it takes the shine away from your achievement. You wish your critics would stop pointing out that the 'problems' that your solutions are attempting to fix are now getting worse...
So your next step is to try to silence your critics. There is any number of ways to do this, but the left prefers ad homonym attacks and lies. Opponents to your solutions are (and here is a handy checklist for you to use, but limit your label to three words) racists, anti-environment, misogynists, ultra-conservatives, anti-women, anti-poor, pro-wealthy, pro-business, ideologues, evil, selfish, radicals, anti-labour, etc. Your response to the facts showing how your solutions are screwing things up must be inspired. "Those who attribute detrimental result(s)...to the policies instituted are dismissed as 'simplistic' for ignoring the 'complexities' involved,' wrote Thomas Sowell recently. "Indeed, it is often asserted that things would have been even worse, were it not for the wonderful programs that mitigated the inevitable damage from other factors." (Sowell cited in The Limbaugh Letter, October 1995).
What comes next? The aftermath. Long after you're gone, people continue to pay the price for your activism. Examples? A social net that forcibly takes money from those who cannot philosophically reconcile your right to take their money to support someone else. A medical system that destroyed free enterprise and enslaved an entire profession because you need them. A government that every day decides what freedoms you have (and don't have) because they do not have a philosophical base that tells them the real right and wrong. And so on...
And that is your ESR Create-Your-Own-Crisis Kit. One note though, conservatives are unable to use this kit. These are the methods and procedures of the left and cannot be translated for our use. As conservatives we believe in men and women of productive intellect, not the second-handers. We stand for principles, not moral leeches. We stand for freedom, not statism. While I may have presented this with some humor, there is an important lesson to all of this.
That lesson is no matter what the left does, we have to answer with the truth. No matter how attractive the left may become to the public, we have to stay consistent with our pro-freedom, individualistic philosophy. When the left uses emotion to persuade, we must use truth. When the left insults us, we must use the truth. When they lie, we must use truth. Many speak of how the left have captured the debate because they have redefined the words we use, and to them I can only say that the truth can never be redefined.
If you didn't know how they often work, you do now. Your next step is to be prepare the next time they try to impose their garbage on us. Arm yourself with the information you need to answer these people and fight back. Don't let them win the most important battle of all, the battle for the truth and freedom.
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