Time for a constitutional convention
By J.J. Jackson
web posted March 12, 2007
When in the course of human events it becomes clear that a portion of the American public no longer understands the clear and unambiguous words of our Constitution it is necessary to further clarify already simple and plain language that even your average third grader in 1776 could have understood. As such I propose that the time for a Constitutional Convention to aid in the process of dumbing down the Constitution of these United States is at hand and I do propose the following amendments.
Please forgive me for, what will be seen by many, as a radical step, but I propose nothing that I do not deem absolutely necessary for the furtherance of this good Republic and the proper functioning of our government.
Amendment XXVIII
In order to make clear that there is a limit on the power of Congress to tax the public and spend taxes that are gathered, the words "as defined only by the following list of obligations" should be added to Article I, Section 8 of the United States Constitution so that it will read: "The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States as defined only by the following list of obligations; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;" in order to make it clear what James Madison and the founding fathers meant when they wrote it (ref: Federalist 41 by James Madison).
Further it is proposed that the following be added to the end of this article: "That should any representative in the Congress of these United States propose, vote in favor of or in any other way attempt to pass any legislation that proposes either a tax or expenditure on any item or program not justified in Article I, Section 8 shall be immediately impeached by the House, tried by the Senate and upon being found guilty shall be removed from office and barred from holding any future public office or trust."
Amendment XXIX
In order to make clear that it is the President who is Commander in Chief of the armed forces and that Congress's only role in the military is to declare war and provide for funds as they see fit it is proposed that Article 2, Section 2 be changed so that it will read as follows: "The President and not any member of Congress (even if she is the first woman Speaker of the House) shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States"
Amendment XXX
That in order to make clear the powers of the Supreme Court of these United States Article 3, Section 2 of the Constitution shall have wording added so that it shall read as follows: "The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority but not to the power to rewrite the Constitution and usurp the role of the Legislature to legislate and create law. But that should any act by any public official violate the limited powers of government granted under this Constitution or infringe upon the rights of any citizen it shall be deemed null and void by this Supreme Court. And that the test for such infringement shall be higher than the claim that one was simply offended by the actions of another or that they were caused severe mental anguish at hearing something they do not like."
Amendment XXXI
That in order to make it clear even to a ripe tomato what the blatantly obvious meaning of Amendment I to this Constitution is the words "a national church" shall be added and the first mention of the word "religion" shall be struck and that the word "thereof" shall be replaced with "religion" so that it will read even more clearly "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of a national church, or prohibiting the free exercise religion."
Amendment XXXII
That in order to make completely crystal clear the meaning of Amendment II to this Constitution additional wording shall be added so that it reads: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people, as in individual people (i.e. the citizens themselves) and not the government or any government entity, to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."
Amendment XXXIII
That in order to properly define the words "no" or "not" as used often to state a prohibition on the state from engaging in certain acts all instances of the word "no" or "not" shall be replaced with "no, and we really mean no as in never," or "not, as it don't even think about it ‘cause it isn't going to happen no matter how hard you try to justify it," respectively.
Amendment XXXIV
That to alleviate some of the confusion concerning the Fourth Amendment to this Constitution the term "unreasonable" shall be underlined, bolded and italicized to draw proper attention to it and that examples of "probable cause" shall be given so that it will now read: "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause which includes, but is not limited to, the following non-exhaustive list: threatening to blow up buildings, threatening to commit acts of murder or other terrorist acts, purchasing large quantities of Ammonium Nitrate fertilizer and renting a Rider truck, acting in such a manner that draws suspicion before boarding an airplane, taking flying lessons but not being concerned about how to land the plane, inciting others to commit acts of terror, being caught on video tape or other recording medium accepting a bribe and so on but NOT, for example, the random searching of vehicles and the harassment of citizens on a road on New Years Eve because someone, somewhere may have consumed too much alcohol or other such nonsense, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."
Amendment XXXV
That in order to make it clear that the death penalty is indeed constitutional and not considered "cruel and unusual punishment" and that it is acceptable to deprive one of life as punishment, an additional sentence shall be added to the end of the amendment V so that it clearly reads: "No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. That means that we have the right to deprive criminals of life if they are found guilty after due process of law so quit your damn whining." And that amendment VIII shall be made to read "Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted and that depriving people of life after due process is not cruel and unusual punishment because we just said that it was allowed in Amendment V."
And finally (at least for this go around) ...
Amendment XXXVI
That in order to make it clear that government is not the solution to the problems of the people, Amendment X to the Constitution shall be clarified so that it shall read: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people because all you bureaucrats in Washington DC are not capable of managing our lives as well the vast majority of us are. And for those in society who are not capable of managing their own lives they can live off the generous charity of the rest of us. So you bureaucrats please keep your greedy little hands out of our wallets and stop trying to be our parents because you really, honestly and truly suck at it." 
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the lead editor of Conservative News & Opinion – The Land of the Free and also the owner of The Right Things – Conservative T-shirts & Gifts. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at http://www.libertyreborn.com
