Dear Dr. Progressive

web posted April 9, 2001

(Important note: Dr. Progressive has shown up at his house and refuses to talk about anything that has happened in the last several weeks. He says he has fallen in love and that he is planning a wedding -- to which he is inviting only non-Leftists. He insists that he now believes in love at first sight and that he is certain that "it happens all the time." There is no evidence of a girlfriend at this time. The doctor is still taking your questions at

Dear Dr. Progressive,

I am very perplexed. I've been reading your column and I think it's an insult to both the right and the left. If you are a really a right-wing activist and are satirizing the left, then you should know that your satire is not against the left but against some kind of imaginary leftist cause that you probably thought up while lying in the hospital. If you are honestly giving people advice, then how could you possibly think that a person with as many problems as you so obviously have are entitled to give advice to anyone? Christ said to his apostles that before you take the speck out of your neighbour's eye, take the block out of your own. You've definitely got some work to do.

Phillip Morris

Dear Phillip,

You are truly an idiot.

Dear Dr. Progressive,

Can you please tell me, why have Western intellectuals for so long exonerated the crimes committed by communist countries?

Stanley Dane

Dear Stanley,

Dishonesty appears to be the defining character trait of a Leftist, but it is actually only the symptom of a cause that resides much deeper in the psyche. Obviously there is something very dishonest about denying the Gulag, which left-wing intellectuals do. But their dishonesty does not exist in isolation; it is the result of a pathological and deep-rooted desire to vindicate themselves by deceiving and destroying others. I have dealt with Leftists almost all of my life and I can definitely say that they are motivated by a thrill of omnipotent self-sufficiency. This explains why they consistently engage in hypocrisy.

The Leftist needs to support the extermination of others because he does not feel self-sufficient. Somewhere in the Leftist's life there is an area of incredible powerlessness, defenselessness and humiliation. The Leftist counter-acts this compartment of his life by supporting political systems which execute millions. It is a subconscious instinct at sadistic revenge.

Let me also emphasize that most Leftists I know are typically schizoid – in the sense that they have schisms in their personality. And I am not kidding about this.

All of this explains why most Leftists I know are chameleon-like. They are extremely good at acting at being in relationships, but they are actually never really involved with anyone. They do not connect with people emotionally -- only on the levels of political agreement. Leftists cannot form real friendships because they suffer from what I have come to gather is a malignant narcissism. Because they cannot form inter-personal relationships, they compensate by an intense self-involvement. This is why they become narcissists, pathological liars, pretenders, manipulators and mass murderers.

Dear Dr. Progressive,

Is there any future for communism?

Tandra Yielding

Dear Tandra.

Of course there is. The flat earth society exists. Everything is possible.

Dear Dr. Progressive,

I find a hard time finding a meaning in life. What do you recommend?


Dear Robert,

It depends.

Jamie Glazov holds a Ph.D. in History and is the author of "15 Tips on How to Be a Good Leftist"

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