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Government is as government does

By J.J. Jackson
web posted May 28, 2007

Seven hundred and some odd pages of legislative gobbledygook later, the Senate has decided to bang its head against the wall again.  Like an insane person, some of our elected officials need to be given special helmets and placed in a rubberized cell to avoid causing any permanent damage to themselves.  On second thought, forget the helmet and the rubberized cell.  I'll take my chances that any damage Senators like Teddy Kennedy or John McCain do to themselves would be an actual improvement.

In fact, even though I am not a big fan of government programs, I think that a whole new government bureaucracy should be started just to properly train and supervise members of our Senate to make sure they can effectively turn their brains to mush.  After all, it's hard for someone that has turned their brains to jello to do any worse of a job in Congress than they already are.  Yes, it definitely would be an improvement.

Seven hundred pages of legislation to address illegal immigration?  I rest my case on how letting McCain, Kennedy and others beating their heads against the wall and scrambling their own brains which are undoubtedly still well under factory warranty for lack of use can only help.

This juggernaut of idiocy that has come out of secret negotiations between a handful of Senators, special interest groups and a White House that has it's head implanted firmly up its own posterior on this issue of immigration deserves about as much consideration as Al Gore when he talks about manmade global warming.  That is to say none; except to laughed at.

Any time government needs this many pages to codify something you can be sure that it is in order to create a purposefully flawed piece of legislation filled with loopholes and paybacks to special interests.  Not to mention give more power to government bureaucrats and allow them to multiply like rabbits in heat.  As if we don't have enough of those nebby, do-gooders already right?

I say again; seven hundred pages of legislation to address illegal immigration?

Heck I can write up a solution right here and right now that does a gazillion times better than this.  And I could do it in a lot fewer than 700 pages.  After all, how many lines does it take to say that one does not have a right to be in the United States illegally and that those that aid and abet or employ them will be punished?  How many lines does it take to say "no"?

I can only imagine what such legislation would look like if written by the founding fathers back in 1787 considering that they laid out the entire format for a limited federal government (which we regularly ignore today) in just a few pages.  Perhaps it would have read something like:

"As one does not have the right to reside illegally within our nation's borders, persons found within the United States illegally will be deported to their country of origin and those that aid and abet these criminals will be thrown into irons for no less than 20 years.  Second offenses shall be punishable by death by hanging or firing squad ... depending on whether rope or gunpowder and bullets are cheaper at the time."

Instead we have this unwieldy document which rivals the United States Tax code in size. Or at least it will after years of changes, tweaks and revisions.  If you think otherwise I've got a nice bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.  And we all know how many different answers you get when you ask five different tax attorneys a question right?

If you said eighteen you are close but still a little low.  The correct answer is twenty-one.

Considering the drubbing a similar attempt at legalizing assorted criminals, who by their very nature became criminals the second they jumped the border illegally, got just about a year ago why would any sane person even try to pass another smelly turd of an immigration reform bill?  Talk about people that are blinded by ideology.

And when you have illegal immigrants complaining that the bill is far too tough on them when they are being offered a chance to become legal if they only pay a pittance in fines and indulgences proposed by capitulating, limp-wristed, diaper wearing politicians then you know that the bill gives away far too much.

And don't even you dare take notice that the some of the penalties for people found entering the United States illegally doesn't even apply to Mexican nationals!  Oh, you think I'm joking?


(a) In General- Beginning on October 1, 2008, an alien (other than a national of Mexico) who is attempting to illegally enter the United States and who is apprehended at a United States port of entry or along the international land and maritime border of the United States shall be detained until removed or a final decision granting admission has been determined, unless the alien–"

Comprehensive?  Hardly!

And our politicians wonder why the roar they are hearing is deafening?  Like I said.  Let them beat their heads against this wall.  The result can only be an improvement and an increase in their meager intelligence. ESR

J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the lead editor of Conservative News & Opinion – The Land of the Free and also the owner of The Right Things – Conservative T-shirts & Gifts. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at http://www.libertyreborn.com.


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