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Future learning

By Daniel Ryan
web posted July 29, 2002

[The following is a document from twenty-five years in the future. After tolerating the resistance to bilingualism on the part of regular Anglophones for more than two decades, the federal government decided that the traditional incentive policy was insufficient: too few average Canadians were taking their cue from the best and the brightest. So it was decided that additional encouragement was necessary.

[After a study, done with the aid of many famous American educators, the federal government decided that the chief barrier to learning French among Anglophones was the excessive rigidity of standards in writing. The note that many Francophones used a style of English that was somewhat unusual, once another traditional kind of resistance to the bringing to attention of this fact, provided grounds for a compromise.

[So it was recommended that Anglo kids be both encouraged to seek information in French and that the teaching profession in all provinces and territories relax their traditional concern with detail in exchange for a more tolerant approach to the acquisition of a new kind of English that was more harmonious with both the wordage and grammar structure of French. This suggestion was backed up in the usual way through the federal-provincial relations process.

[The above was, at least, the ostensible reason. More than a few Internet cynics had already come to the conclusion that the target audience was really multicultural America...]

Free English Composition

Marked on the basis of Informativeness and Illumination. Spelling and Grammar Only Relevant For Purposes Of Communication.


Name: Kilbo Road [This seems to be a pseudonym, which presumably will be legally recognized then.]


I knewing it said tat we can right as plaserly as we choose, but school still schoolre. Infinite in its produckshun. So has been, it travelleding from time to ours.

We knewing Englo called "standard" - it meant we has to obey the King. Tat's whup for the ancien langage. Which we speakerly some but not all.

Tings wàre simple bak ten. There were not our new tensons: had I saided someting as simple as "I will wented," I'd be called stoopid. Back in the veiled days, last centure or so, they did not have these new modalations, so their ecripting, or writing, was less flexististic and more primitif.

I an aware well dit thiss declaration of the purposive of paper might not possess the relevance that is required for the achievementitudal aspect of this ecription, ober an avov the dissication of the mark. The relevant relevance will be made plein tère-below.

This paper is a bref discutation on how an omen led to my profitesse.

In order to sucessor yourself in the action market, you have to buy your actions at the right temps and to sell them at the tempes correspondante. In veiled Englo, this was dicayted "buy low, sell high." There were plentantesque - diverse - means of bringing this about.

The kinds are two: firstèment, "fundament analyser"; sécundement, "analysation de technicien." There are also schools that combine both through batterdising the up-avov togethere. One of them is an elevation of the Science: Astrology.

My adviseur investissements explaned it to me as was. Jus as in book How Prophecy Fails, meiny predactions are in fact predacativitudes. Just there for random. The inner strenth of such predicatudes is the practiqual benfices here on this earth, as oppose to all other monds of exixtance. For exixtance doesn't arret you, it shaus you. Jus like I will showed you what I had expérienced.

To omen, on must study the exixtente in all its complicitations. Every causative is relevantisque. Al of them - all. This is how the technicien ofs actions, or shares, beginning to proceed. Temps n'a pas thair; c'est un irrelevantitude. This is essential.

In order to savé the CEO and hir monde de thought, on must take the trial. It is a devoir that is impossible to brake or to put in your oblier. Just as essentiallement to one's profitation as the ordeal is to on's hommer life. We dont whiners want, nor any lazines. So you exuent monde and confiner your you-self égoistically in the cervo sense. No pumpness, nor pumpnessitude.

I begin by enterait into the temps subjonctif. It is the timelessitude that gives the Insite that is self-crucielle. On must devait souffer one's consciusness like the CEO hirself. Only then will Wisdom be empatré into one's servo mechanisme. Otherwising to know as on's unconscience.

Once the temps subjectivté is presence, then te proces-standariste has to much be applied. Loking at the action charts and any inicators which tell you of hir movs.

But ce est maintenantce. It is just the premier baselining, and gives yu non of the flow of the action, nor of the compagne that was lays down-underneth. Nextément, commes te analysation of the fundaments.

These I can spreadshoot well sufficed. As le mond subjonctif is deepered, then the rotisation which commences the sècondement tasc, it it morphs into the avencement into Wisdom. No path knows.

One the spreadshod, then the historisation. Such is the examination of unconscience that is necessairyment pour le frap the silver. I gotted much argent, mané dollars.

Historiation was overed. Then the acton des actions is step third. (Sorry, this it is done do avoider tropistic homonisation.) I will vued the prices. (If you recommence, this complexitysation is necessair por vour imaginatif entry into what I did do.) ["Not necessary - I understand." Teacher's comment.]

I willed into 1975, wen Bill Gates hait composée le firstier programme de BASIC. I saw the spell he use; such ait is the omen I seek. This is how all business decisives are done; both you, me-maintaining and le me that had be bak then, tout le three know. I had see it done by my patronpère plus temes. They dont raticioner, they luck it over. And concentrationait.

Such gif me the Omen. It was pass de times watching before I sit and absourd the acton of dhe prixes. Such is my exixtence total.

A move, and I lep! To the phon is a step. The action are scooped. I ashed what I kept. Ten mills I had squaffed, my many kept offs, for now is the chawer of actions. I gots buyen 1000 shares. A cool mill. $9.64 per acn. + $15 commission. Disk house; my avisementeur investisse isait down in bank. Payèd par Salary. We carre - he an me.

So no bad hoodû. Things will look alright.

In fact they did. I giotten out at $15.23 p.a. minous another 15 bill. Total score: $5560 profit. Profitasion "bonney"!

I can't makait mon living right maintenant with Omen. They come too lent, and AI tol me never, ne pas, noway to forcer. Tat's how one loses longue-terme. So my education comes first too - so firstement. I cood be richessed and stil staye.

One must always learner to think. We-ones have only one cervo, and one vite.

[Grade: B+. Accurate and descriptive, but no flair in use of nouvel grammar. Seems too rote-learned and rote-applied for deservation of an A. Even if one might be callé for por effort.]

This is Daniel Ryan's first contribution to Enter Stage Right.

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