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Marxist COWS vs. Realist mammoths

By Michael Moriarty
web posted September 10, 2001

Fighting a rabid religion like Marxism with political ideology is like hitting fastballs with balsa wood bats. They break every time. The North American home team needs to adopt a new strategy.


It is now the bottom of the seventh inning. Game is delayed because of 'rain'. Despite George W. Bush's collaboration, the Marxist hegemony isn't moving at quite the same light-speed as it did during the Clinton years. We of the Realist Party are not at bat, but neither are the Marxists. With the Bush Pétainistes in charge, it's roughly the equivalent of a rain delay, a "we won't bother you if you don't bother us."

The Republicans have basically rigged a "fix" with the COWS -- which stands for 'Communists Own the World'. Curiously, it's appearing all over North America as the brand name of an ice cream chain. It appears on many made-in-China BIC lighters that are sold here. Cow statues are all over Calgary -- a decidedly bullish city -- to remind the Conservative government and citizens that their little holiday with Bay Street economics is just that, an indulgence by the United Nations and the left-wing Government of Canada.

Luckily, the Communist Party's arrogance - a hallmark of its intrinsic mediocrity -- exaggerates its influence. Communists occupy the world, but Marxists own it. So those signs cropping up all over North Am should read MOW or perhaps MAO. These distinctions are important.

The Marxist Church Baseball Team: THE COWS

1- Reform: Liberals, Democratic Socialists.
2- Orthodox: Socialists (i.e. Canada's New Democratic Party)
3- Fundamentalists: Communists; leaders of China, Vietnam, North Korea and of so-called Non-Governmental Organizations, like the NGO of Cameroon, whose leader declared before the United Nations General Assembly that the true enemy of Humankind is individual freedom. Other undercover enterprises -- like the Islamic Jihad -- are a Stalinist's Great Leap Forward, hooked into visions far beyond the simple goals of the Muslim World. Saddam Hussein, Muammar Khaddafi, Yasser Arafat and Osama bin Laden are neither Arab nor Muslim. They're the savage arm of Leninism.

So, we're up against a pretty sizable and serious ball club. If the UN is the clubhouse, then our little franchise looks pathetic by comparison. Note that our team's name denotes:

1- the Judeo-Christian civilization, which the COWS want eliminated, is still a "mammoth" achievement.
2- the COWS believe they are the future and that our Judeo-Christian culture is prehistoric -- a dinosaur, a woolly mammoth.

The Realist Mammoths are:
1- disillusioned Republicans
2- Libertarians
3- the Canadian and US Reform parties
4- the National Rifle Association
5- the American Militia
6- unwitting liberals who are waking up
7- the Christian Right

A motley crew.

It's the bottom of the fifth, and we're down about 30 runs. It's a rout.

Here's a game replay:

First Inning: Korea.
What looked like a tie was actually a rout. When Truman blinked, China stole home more than five times. Now that the UN owns the referee and calls the balls and strikes, we see how the game score is a bit more disappointing than we'd thought.

Second Inning: Vietnam.
Well, that's a pretty obvious disaster. The strategy of winning hearts and minds was too little, too late. Now we have Viet Cong in our cities, selling drugs to children to avenge what North America did to Vietnam. Hardly the Marshall Plan. These guys are sore winners. The KGB is only selling to kids as a justifiable "act of war" on behalf of the "Revolution."

Third Inning: LBJ's Great Society.
President Lyndon Baines Johnson looked over the architecture of a socialist federation and cried: "Hot damn, this is nothin' more than a glorified southern slave plantation. Who knows better how to run that kind o' farm but a southern good ole boy like me. Mao Zedong don't know jack about plantations. You got to keep the slaves happy! Got to make 'em love you! Give 'em bigger quarters, a lotta important-soundin' titles and, damn, you got yourself one real happy, well-running slave plantation!"

Fourth Inning: Kissinger's Republican Realpolitik Party
Dr. Henry convinced President Richard Nixon that the fight against worldwide socialism was doomed. It was only a matter of who ran the "plantation." Not being a southern good ole boy, Nixon really didn't fit the office.

Top of the Fifth Inning: The Cuban Missile Crisis.
The Russian Politburo tried to deliver some missiles -- heavy-duty, Leningrad slugger baseball bats -- to the Cuban hitters.

Bottom of the Fifth: Kennedy's Assassination.
John F. Kennedy died as much for having stopped the Russians in Cuba as for anything else. That he was more Catholic than communist was the ultimate factor and the real reason why so many of the Kennedy Clan have disappeared. Mario Cuomo has been reduced to being a local talk-show host in New York for the very same reason.

Sixth Inning: The Lie of Perestroika.
Ronald Reagan's naïveté led us into a trap. Not only did Reagan further cement American socialism by doubling the national debt in eight years -- forcing his successor George Bush to raise taxes --, he fell for Mikhail Gorbachev's cunning installment of the KGB's Boris Yeltsin as the drunken Winston Churchill of Russia. Yeltsin's successor revealed the true nature of Perestroika: KGB, all the way.

Top of the Seventh Inning: Twelve Years of the Bush/Clinton Pax Marxiana

Bad inning. You needn't even divide the batters. Both have been hitting for the One World Order. The only difference between them is that the Bushes think America should rule the Marxist World, whereas Clinton believes that the Politburo of the UN, of which he is the real secretary-general, will rule the world unto eternity.

So, as we enter the seventh inning stretch and sit in our respective locker rooms, the Mammoths are a very sorry lot. Demonized by the liberal press, demoralized by being so many runs down, watching every conservative effort at presenting a viable opposition in Parliament and Congress destroyed by inner-party dissension, this is one really sick little ball club.

Fighting a rabid religion like Marxism with political ideology is like hitting fastballs with balsa wood bats. They break every time.

We now have only two and a half innings to at least tie the score and go into extra innings.
The Florida Gubernatorial Race

Moriarty knows something about pitching
Moriarty knows something about pitching

Fidel Castro is now coaching part of the COWS' game plan in Florida. He's putting in Janet Reno to pitch to the Mammoths. Cubans know a lot about baseball. It would really look bad if the male Mammoths went down before a female pitcher. Kind of strikes what's left of our North American machismo in the cojones.

So, I've decided to step up to bat.

I'm not a bad pitcher either. Watch Bang the Drum Slowly (1973), in which I play star pitcher Henry Wiggen, and you'll see. None of that is faked. No stand-ins were used.

Janet Reno's first three pitches:

1- The Ad Hominem Screwball: "Michael Moriarty is obviously certifiable."

My swing: Let's define American sanity versus Marxist sanity: Nurse Ratched - the nickname I gave Reno eight years ago in New York - or my version of Randle Patrick McMurphy?
Reno's diagnosis of sanity: Anyone who is not a Marxist is insane.
My definition: American sanity is individual freedom under the Golden Rule.

2- The Law and Order Fastball: Florida needs a firm hand at the helm to stifle the drug trade. Janet Reno's, of course.

My swing: After four years in moot court on NBC as assistant prosecuting attorney Ben Stone, I know something about Law and Order. I took a four-year course in the criminal justice system of the toughest city in the world -- New York.

A look back at Reno's "decisiveness" in office might bring us back to her own "screwball" tactics.

3- The Feminist's Curve Ball: Michael, from his arrest for spousal assault and his many divorces, has no idea of what women require from their husbands or their governments.

My Swing: Janet Reno's ideal of manhood and father figure is Fidel Castro. She betrayed her own sex to abide by his demands. A mother's dying wishes that her son, Elian Gonzalez, live in freedom, were countermanded by Reno's determination to send that boy back to the arms of Fidel Castro.

The Illusion of The Free World's Victory in World War II

By not admitting that Adolph Hitler was a socialist and the commander-in-chief of a socialist federation, we allowed the victory of communism, which is nothing more than a socialist federation under martial law, a condition now easily instituted in North America within 48 hours.
The social federalists are selling Nazism minus the racism. It's still Nazism.

Hitler's dream of the German Superman is no more evil than socialism and its vision of a new human race: drug-free, racist-free, sexist-free, greed-free and fault-free.

Karl Marx's antidotes to the ills of the Judeo-Christian civilization are more messianic and Hitler-esque than any figure found in the Bible, including Christ, whose neglect of worldly power was precisely the reason the Chosen People could not take Him seriously.

The Mammoths' Game Plan

We begin with Muhammed Ali's "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee." Our players must be eloquent. Our catchers must "dis" the COWS' batters every chance they get. Wear them down with such fire, joy and wit they wonder why we are so unbelievably cocky as we enter the box to hit and fill the field to play.

Absolute bedrock certainty that a 150-year-old, fanatical religion called Marxism cannot possibly extinguish a noble culture that is over 3,000 years old.

Pax Marxiana equals the common good divided by Marxist purity times the unknown variables of Marxist leadership. From the enlightened despotism of Pierre Trudeau and William Clinton to the bestial psychosis of Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, the Marxist capacity for megadeath evil and genocide is recorded, and forever possible as long as peace is defined by the Marxist formula: PM=CG x X.

Pax Judeo-Christiana equals individual freedom squared to the infinite power and divided by the Golden Rule: PJC=IF2 to /GR.

No exercise of individual freedom can even approach anarchy if each individual is mediated by "do unto others as you would have others do unto yourselves." The incorruptible core of truth to all civil and criminal penal codes is found in the Golden Rule.

With these formulae battling it out, the winner will ultimately be PJC=IF2 to /GR. It's the metaphysical equivalent of E=MC2.

Let's enter the myriad fields of play and their metaphors from baseball to football and golf, and know that, with faith in our God-given ability to think on our own two feet -- without the assistance of any Central Intelligence Politburo -- and by abiding by the Golden Rule, we will know how to play the game and win. ESR

Michael Moriarty is a Golden Globe winning actor who has appeared in the landmark television series Law and Order, the mini-series Holocaust, and the recent movie Along Came a Spider.

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