Barry's little helpers By Harold Witkov As we all well know, President Obama has been taking a lot of criticism because he is assembling his own private army of Czars. All across the Internet, bloggers have been giving him free advice and telling him these Czars might be more palatable to the American public if they had a different name, one that did not invoke such a negative historical connotation. Initially, my first suggestion for the President would have been to call his Czars, Barry's Little Helpers, but that title would not properly reflect the unfettered power that these individuals wield over American citizenry. Instead, I decided the President might prefer to create an individual title for each Czar that still invokes fear, but in a less threatening, euphemistic, and rhythmic way. The President's list of Czars is forever growing and I have been having trouble keeping up with all of them. Below is a partial list of some of the Czar positions, with new user-friendly titles I am recommending for the President. My advice to President Obama is to call a press conference ASAP and start reintroducing his Czars to the American public, while reading the following from the teleprompter:
Of course, if I were really to advise President Obama, I would tell him to dispense with the Czars and his lust for personal power, and start honoring the Constitution of the United States that he swore to uphold. © 2009 Harold Witkov
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