A monthly
celebration of the insipid, anserine and the mind-boggling...yes, it's
the Earth is Flat Award!
"The Earth is a flat like a pancake-a! No, it's round like a baseball!" - a real exchange
between Christopher Columbus and doubters, according to Bugs Bunny
Every now and then an Earth is Flat Award is so deserved that the candidate is head and shoulders
above the rest. This month the People of the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) get the nod.
The militant animals rights group recently approached the mayor of Fishkill, N.Y. and asked him to
consider changing the name of the village to something more compassionate…like Fishsave, N.Y.
George Carter declined stating that he’s "not going to change the name of Fishkill. It’s been such a
long, outstanding name." According to the mayor, the Hudson Valley village has carried the name
since the late 1600’s.
Of course, this is not the first time that PETA has shown how asinine they are. Here’s some tastes
of other PETA statements:
"A human being has no special rights. A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy. They’re all mammals"
- Ingrid Newkirk, PETA co-founder
"We would no longer allow breeding. Companion animals would have to be refugees from animal
shelters and the streets. You would have a protective relationship with them just as you would an
orphaned child."
- Ingrid Newkirk
"We are at war. We’ll do what we need to win. If we got rid of the slave trade, we can get rid of
the beef industry."
- Don Matthews, PETA
PETA is a group that takes in roughly $10 million dollars a year (but, according to the Detroit
Free Press, only using 15 to 20 per cent of its income on actual animal welfare, the rest spent on
administration, political activism and other expenses), but apparently does not spend it on anything
useful.
I could bang on about how ‘animal rights’ groups (animals do not have rights) are anti-capitalist and
anti-human, but that’s an essay for a future issue. I think it is sufficient to state that PETA deserves
the Earth is Flat Award for so many things…but their suggestion to the village of Fishkill is the
symbol of their entire movement.
Here’s a statuette for you PETA and I’ll take you out for dinner to celebrate…I know a good
steak joint.
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