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Coming out of a coma in the time of COVID

By Greg Strange
web posted November 15, 2021

As many of you will know, the television series “The Walking Dead” is in its final season.  The show premiered on October 31, 2010.  At the time I wasn’t a particular fan of zombie movies or fiction, but I watched that night anyway.  It was mainly because I live in Atlanta and was curious since I was aware that it was filmed locally.  And what the heck, it was Halloween night.

I found the first episode to be quite compelling, much of which was due to the set-up.  Rick, a small town sheriff, was shot in the line of duty and ended up in the hospital in a coma.  A few months later he woke up alone in his hospital bed.  He looked around and things didn’t seem right.  Finally, he struggled out of bed and made his way into the hall.  No one was around and everything was in a state of disarray.  Then he stumbled outside into a world that had been decimated by a zombie apocalypse.

Wow!  What a thing to wake up to.  Can you imagine?  And now it occurs to me . . .  What if I had been seriously injured and went into a coma on, let’s say, January 1, 2020.  And then let’s say I came out of that coma – oh, it doesn’t exactly matter – but let’s say, yesterday.  The hospital would have called my wife and our first conversation might have gone something like this:

“How long have I been out?”

“Almost two years.”

“Oh my god.  I guess I’m lucky to be alive.”

“Yes you are.  And a lot has happened during that time, you just can’t even imagine.”

“Really?  Was it good or bad?”

“It wasn’t good.”

“Please don’t tell me there’s been a zombie apocalypse!  Ha-ha!”

“No, but it’s pretty bad.”

“Okay, let’s hear it.”

“Look, I don’t want to upset you.  You’ve just come back to life.”

“Just go ahead and tell me.  How bad could it be?”

“Well, okay, here goes.  In March of 2020 the country and the world was declared to be in a pandemic of a virus called COVID-19.  Most of civilization was shut down for a time and nothing has ever been the same.  And right now there’s no sign of it being over anytime soon.”

“Holy cow!  Well, this – what did you call it? – COVID-19?  It must be pretty bad, where if you get it, you’re pretty much going to die?”

“Well, actually no.  The survival rate is 99% and most of the people who die are elderly and/or have serious health problems.”

“Wait a minute.  I thought you said they shut down civilization over this.”

“Yeah, they did, early on, because they didn’t know exactly what they were dealing with.  So businesses, schools and pretty much everything that wasn’t considered ‘essential’ had to close.”

“Well, is everything opened back up now?”

“Yes, for the most part.  It depends on the state.  Some of them stayed closed a lot longer than others.  Places like California and New York were the worst.  Oh, and everybody had to wear masks whenever they went out in public.  It’s not required here anymore, but you’re still going to see a lot of people wearing them all over the place because they’re still afraid.”

“If the survival rate is 99 percent, why would they be so afraid?”

“Well, because the government and the media and the medical establishment have conditioned them to be afraid.”

“Why would those institutions do that if the survival rate is 99 percent?”

“That’s the question of the age and I can’t give you a simple answer.  You’ll just have to see for yourself as you learn more about it.”

“So, are there treatments for this COVID?”

“Well, yes, there are some treatments which studies show to be very effective and safe, but . . .”

“But what?”

“But they don’t want anybody to have them.”

“Huh?  Why not?”

“Let me be more precise.  There are a handful of doctors who are speaking out and are willing to treat people, but the medical establishment is totally against it, from Fauci all the way down to regular doctors and even pharmacists.”

“What the hell is a ‘Fauci?’”

“Oh, Dr. Fauci is a guy – he’s 80 years old – who is sort of in charge of everything when it comes to COVID.  He’s the head of . . . um . . . something or other . . . something to do with infectious diseases and he’s kind of calling the shots about what to do."

“And Trump appointed this guy?  And he’s still in there?”

“Yes, he’s still in there, but . . .”

“Wait a minute, I gotta ask something now.  Who is the president?  It’s gotta be Trump, right?  Who ended up becoming the Democrat candidate?  Was it crazy Bernie or someone else, like Pocahontas?”

“Honey, the president is Joe Biden.”

“What?!  Oh my god, you can’t be serious!  ‘Sleepy Joe’ Biden?  That senile loser who couldn’t run a hot dog stand and is neck-deep in China-related corruption?  How is that possible with the roaring Trump economy we had?”

“COVID killed the economy, or at least the country’s reaction to COVID killed it, which, again, was the shutdown.  And anyway, it looks like the election might have been stolen.  A lot of serious people don’t believe Biden really won.  And by the way, Georgia now has two crazy left Democrat senators.”

“How is that even possible?”

“It’s complicated.  But at least you missed the nationwide riots.”

“Riots?  Over what, the COVID shutdown?”

“No, over George Floyd.”

“Who is George Floyd?”

“He was a black criminal in Minneapolis who died in police custody.  They used that as an excuse to claim systemic racism by the cops and they rioted in cities all over the country for months.”

“During a pandemic, for months?  How could it go on for so long?”

“Most local authorities stood by and let them riot because it was for social justice.”

“And Trump didn’t send in the National Guard?”

“No.  Rumor has it that he was talked out of it by certain people in his administration.”

“Great!”

“And what happened to George Floyd started a movement of either ‘defund the police’ or ‘abolish the police’ in cities around the country.”

“But that’s insane!  Without the police we would descend into anarchy and madness!  How could anybody be pushing for that?”

“I don’t know, it’s incomprehensible.”

“I almost wish I had woken up to zombies.  Zombies are starting to sound pretty good right now.”

“At least you still have your sense of humor.”

“So what has Biden done to the country?”

“Look, I don’t know if we should get into that right now.  You need your rest and you don’t need to get any more upset.”

“I’ve been asleep for almost two years!  I don’t need more rest.  Just tell me what he’s done.”

“Well, first of all, his intellectual functioning is clearly going downhill fast.  I don’t see how he could possibly last through his entire term.  Anyway . . .  So, he pulled us out of Afghanistan precipitously, leaving the Taliban in charge and with tens of billions of dollars worth of our military equipment; the southern border is wide open and they’re sending illegals to communities all over the country; he’s absolutely destroyed our energy industry and the price of gas keeps going up; the supply chains have been wrecked and container ships are sitting offshore from our major ports unable to get in and unload; he wants to force everybody to get a vaccination that doesn’t stop the spread of the virus and has caused more deaths and bad reactions than all other vaccines combined; the military has gone completely woke with critical race theory and rainbow ideology; he wants to fix the climate . . .”

“Heaven help us!”

“That reminds me.  He met with the pope recently at the Vatican and . . .”

“Oh lord, that leftist pope.  What did they do, make a pact with Satan?”

“Not that I know of.  Actually, I probably shouldn’t have even brought it up.”

“Why not?”

“Well . . .”

“Just go ahead.”

“I don’t know . . .”

“I want to hear this!”

“Well, there are rumors that he might have . . . um . . . had a little accident while he was there.”

“What kind of an accident?”

“Look, I don’t know if it’s true, it probably isn’t, but . . .”

“Tell me.”

“Honestly, it’s probably just a crazy rumor, but . . . Well, he may have – I can’t even believe I’m saying this – he may have . . . he may have pooped his pants.”

“Aaugh . . . aargh . . . uggh . . . gasp!”

“Oh my god, what’s wrong?  Are you okay?”

“Can you get the doctors in here?”

“Are you in pain?  Are you having trouble breathing?”

“No, I want to see if they will re-induce my coma!” ESR

Greg Strange can be reached at gpstrange30341@yahoo.com. (c) 2021 Greg Strange.

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