Elephant community suffers another drive by
By Michael R. Shannon
web posted September 13, 2010
There was a RINO sighting in the capitol recently. Meghan McCain (Republican In Name Only) was making the rounds selling her new book.
Meghan personifies what former University of Oklahoma football coach Barry Switzer said of the birthright privileged: "Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple."
She's oblivious to the fact America is full of rich, immature brats and her father is the only reason reporters pay any attention to her.
Little Meghan could have written a book about how inspiring it was to be part of a national presidential campaign and how touched she was to have encountered dedicated conservatives from all walks of life joining together and working to put her father in the White House.
Come to think of it — since this was the McCain campaign — that last part might have been hard, but you get my point. Instead, she writes a book that recycles Democrat attacks on the GOP.
As a result mini–McCain gets publicity because the leftist media loves to use the views of nominal Republicans as a weapon to advance its attacks on the beliefs of genuine Republicans. (And since it appears Republicans are going to recapture the House and possibly the Senate, we are going to see more of these efforts as November approaches.)
And what a role model for conservative youth! Meghan made real sacrifices during her five minutes in the national spotlight. She swore off "hook–ups" (slang for casual sex with random males) during the campaign, only to prove — I'm guessing much to her dismay — that abstinence works, because so far she's not pregnant.
She also took her mammary glands out of the display case and attempted to cut down on the use of the F–word in public. At the rate Meghan was going the next stop was Sunday school teacher, but fortunately dad lost and she could resume normal programming.
Her "book" is soon to be found dominating remainder piles across America, because the reporters who use the book to bash the GOP get their copies for free and no Republican in his right mind is going to buy it. The tragedy is that even farm–grown trees, destined to be pulped and printed, had to be sacrificed for this petty, immature tripe.
It's almost enough to make you want to become an environmentalist so you can grab a starter's pistol and run to the nearest Discovery Channel to fight this kind of waste.
Here's Meghan's wisdom regarding the selection of Sarah Palin: "I was waiting for her to explode. There was a fine line between genius and insanity, they say, and choosing her as the running mate was starting to seem like a definition of that line."
She's young. She's sexy. She's incoherent.
Sarah Palin's nomination was the straw that broke the diva's back, because Palin is the antithesis of Meghan. Her father is not rich, she started at the bottom, her success came through her efforts alone and Palin is actually a conservative Republican.
McCain's role during her father's campaign was designated blogger and youth–outreach. A make–work, leaf–raking job you give otherwise unqualified relatives to keep them away from the rooms where decisions are made. She was fired after her behavior became increasingly erratic in the wake of the Palin selection.
To Meghan's credit she is pro–life — an authentic Republican Party position — but once that's out of the way it's back to the Meghan Zone, which in its way is as dangerous to logical thought as the Ozone: "They go on and on about how evil and wrong abortion is, but don't like to talk about how easy it is to not get pregnant."
What could that possibly mean? Is she trying to tell us the Pope is a Republican? I didn't even know he was registered to vote.
Conservative Republicans do oppose carpet–bombing public schools with condoms and dispensing the pill without parent's permission. But to my knowledge the "rhythm method" is not one of the planks in the party platform.
The Post review of her book calls it "a scathing critique of the Republican Party." I might give her opinions some credence concerning a party that involved music, booze and trashy women; but she has zero credibility regarding any party involved in governing.
Even better, this is not a conclusion that puts me at variance with the majority of conservatives. Republicans are poised on the threshold of a resounding victory in November because, in spite of Meghan's advice, they are not becoming more like Democrats. The GOP is now offering a stark contrast when compared to Democrats.
In fact, I can say with complete confidence that Republicans will start taking Meghan McCain's political counsel the same week Democrats embrace the political philosophy of Obama's Kenyan half–brother.
Michael R. Shannon is a public relations and advertising consultant with corporate, government and political experience around the globe. He's a dynamic and entertaining keynote speaker and can be reached at michael–firstname.lastname@example.org.