What Game of Thrones reveals about your politics
By Thomas M. Sipos
Almost everyone knows what their astrological sun sign says about their personalities. But what does your favorite Game of Thrones house reveal about your politics?
I've analyzed nine houses (some of them technically not houses) to try and discern what their political views might be if they suddenly found themselves in our modern world. (Granted, an inexact science.) Pick your favorite house (or faction) from the below list. The one that most emotionally resonates with you. And discovers your true politics!
* House Targaryen -- You are an ideological fanatic with a psychotic lust for power and control. You were born to white privilege, yet you feel uniquely qualified to be a "breaker of chains" for oppressed colored folk everywhere. You seek to spread revolution around the globe. You demand full compliance, and even love, insisting that haters "bend the knee" or else. You believe your tyranny is necessary for the greater good. You are patronizing to supporters, intolerant of opponents, emotionally fragile, and violently genocidal. You are a Social Justice Warrior.
* House Lannister -- You claim to be the defender of family, tradition, faith, and freedom. Yet you subvert the laws of the land, and even take pride in your Machiavellian machinations. You are deceitful, sexually perverse, and a religious hypocrite. You have close ties to foreign bankers. You admit that you hate your own countrymen -- mere cannon fodder to you. You're always starting wars, which never end as expected, whereupon you start new wars. Everyone hates you. You are a Neoconservative.
* House Baratheon -- You respect the laws of the land, and expect other people to do the same. You are loyal, and a man of your word. You will go to war for a just cause, but do not seek war. You are a faithful husband and a loving father. Alas, you have a weakness for apocalyptic religions and wacky preachers. Normally level-headed, religion can make you do crazy things. You are a Constitutional Conservative.
* House Stark -- You respect the rule of law and traditional family values. Even when you dislike a law (e.g., beheadings), you dutifully carry it out. You hate foreign tyrants. You prefer to elect your own, native-born ruler. You have democratic impulses, yet limit electors to stakeholders. You like small, rural communities where people share a common culture and heritage, but welcome immigrants if they are hard-working and contribute on the battlefield. You are a Jeffersonian Democrat.
* House Tyrell -- You hate ideologies. You wish only to live in peace and prosperity. You are a world-weary cynic. You don't care for pomp and ceremony. You have no particular political goals, but retain a vague love of country. You dislike wars, but will fight to the death if the nation is invaded by a foreign tyrant. You defend your homeland rather than its ruler. Despite your usually placid exterior, you can be surprisingly calculating and cold-blooded in removing a tyrant. You are a Moderate.
* House Bolton -- You don't try to hide or justify your cruelties behind ideologies. Your banners and insignias boast images of torture and death. You prize your reputation for terror. You don't want love, only fear and obedience. In your spare time, you enjoy castrating men and raping women. But you do have a warm and gentle side. You are an animal lover, and especially prize your attack dogs. You are a Fascist.
* House Grayjoy -- You dislike work and delayed gratification. Therefore, you do not sow. You'd rather squat on a pile of rocks than live like civilized people. You dislike the rule of law. Nobody is the boss of you. You fight among yourselves. You steal from the weak, and run from the strong. You enjoy the freedom of travel and wide open spaces. People will deal with you if they have to, but nobody likes or respects you. That's okay. You don't like them either. You are an Anarchist.
* Brotherhood Without Banners -- You reject tradition and hierarchy. You oppose all monarchs. You believe in justice, not laws. You take from the rich and give to the poor. You believe in liberté, égalité, fraternité. You think that Nature and Nature's God is on your side. You are a Revolutionary Jacobite.
* Night's Watch -- You believe in tradition and self-sacrifice. You live a life of celibacy, poverty, and self-discipline. A spartan life among like-minded men. You reject personal glory and power. Your only honor is service to others. Future generations will never know of you, or the hardships you endured so that their civilization can survive and flourish. You are a Traditional Catholic.
Thomas M. Sipos writes horror fiction, satire, and film reviews. His website is http://www.CommunistVampires.com/