Gavin Newsom is America's Justin Trudeau
By Todd Gregory and Erik Gregory
web posted January 5, 2026
There is a slick new front man for the Democrat party. And while nominally the governor of America's most populous state, he has been running a national campaign for several years now (recall his many attacks on successful cross-country Florida and rival Governor Ron DeSantis).
Glib and sounding intelligent while saying little of substance, Gavin Newsom is essentially a taller, whiter, and less cunning version of Barack Obama. In other words, he's America's Justin Trudeau.
Gavin is not the electoral bantamweight many conservatives claim. At 6'4" with heavily moussed hair, Gavin will be taller and at least as well-coiffed and youthful-looking as his GOP opponent (while it sounds shallow to highlight Gavin's physiognomy, let's acknowledge that an electorate shallow enough to elect Barack Obama and Joe Biden is also capable of electing Newsom).
The entitled blueblood of the Getty and Pelosi dynasties aced finishing school; politically speaking, Gavin knows the difference between the soup spoon and the dessert spoon (both silver, of course). With Hollywood, Big Tech, federal employees, and the billionaire class bankrolling his campaign, Gavin will easily pull in more than $2 billion, likely outraising his small-dollar GOP opponent.
Yet, Gavin is also as plastic, phony, and vapid as your typical Hollywood floozy. Nearly androgynous in his effeminacy, he regularly indulges in Shiva-like hand gesticulations, manic interviews, and deeply disconcerting social media postings while projecting painfully inauthentic empathy.
These attributes are appealing to blue women who instinctively recoil from masculine men like Trump and JD Vance. Blue women are an unhappy voting bloc increasingly inclined towards outright misandry, possibly because they resent and despise their own fathers or feel the need to scapegoat traditionally rugged white males to rationalize their own despair. While white, the oleaginous, nonthreatening Gavin is the opposite of macho.
Unlike the senile Biden, Gavin won't completely fall on his face while debating Vance or Gabbard or whomever the GOP ultimately nominates. Plus, the moderators will be the usual corporate media worms and fangirls swooning over Gavin.
To overcome the stigma of being a white male at the top of the (D) ticket, Gavin's VP will definitely be a woman. Wretched Gretchen Whitmer is a good bet, and might cement Michigan's 15 electoral votes. But Gavin could opt for a black (Jasmine Crockett?) or Hispanic (AOC?) woman to be truly intersectional and appeal to the highest number of grievance groups.
Gavin is a cinch to hold the blue states won by the inept Kamala Harris (226 EVs). If he can then pick off the traditional blue wall states of Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania – or even just PA and MI while winning back purple Arizona – the White House is his.
Gavin would then nominate an avenging attorney general along the lines of Keith Ellison, Marc Elias, or Andrew Weissmann. SCOTUS judges might be on the order of the homicidal Jay Jones or James Boasberg.
Downplaying his silver spoon, the hipster Gavin claims to have been a scrappy underdog during his formative years, subsisting on Wonder Bread and Mac 'n cheese ("It was about payin' the bills, man! That's how I grew up, bro!").
Gavin once landed a hottie wife named Kimberly Guilfoyle. Later, like countless politicians, Gavin succumbed to extra-testicular activity not by shagging some random groupie but rather by bedding the wife of his own campaign manager and close friend, making the adulterous tryst a double betrayal.
Of course, laws and morals are for conservatives and don't apply to elites like Gavin and his friends.
Gavin's current odd-looking gamine of a wife and potential FLOTUS, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, testified to an affair with Harvey Weinstein. While doubtless a painful experience for her, she only divulged the career-boosting affair after the faddish #Me Too movement made headlines.
Squeamish Republicans who feel they're above such tawdry doings as criticizing the spouses of Democrat pols need to be reminded there is not a Democrat dirt digger alive who would hold back if there were similar smut on Melania Trump or Ushu Vance.
It's worth noting Gavin's high speed rail to nowhere in California's central valley has cost $135 billion to date. We're not just talking about taxpayer money from daffy Californians micro-dosing on mushrooms and dreaming of unicorns but also working class red-state voters whose federal taxes disappear into California's gaping maw (red tax dollars are always financing Democrat prerogatives and underwriting graft and political corruption in blue states).
Gavin's predecessor as Governor, Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown, left California with a budget surplus just as Gavin assumed office in 2019. After squandering Moonbeam's surplus, Gavin and the Democrat supermajority legislature in Sacramento now show annual budget shortfalls of at least $20 billion, though realistic estimates are far more dire.
By the end of 2024, Cali had the second highest unemployment rate in the nation at an official 5.5%, along with the highest poverty rate at nearly 20% and the highest homeless rate. Middle-class outmigration has been joined by flagship businesses like Tesla, Oracle, and Chevron (incidentally, gasoline taxes and fees cost California motorists about $1.40 per gallon). Imagine this economic turd show going national.
Tens of millions of dollars have been stolen by government bureaucrats and NGOs supposedly managing the homeless industrial complex as Cali's homeless population has surged past the (estimated) 200,000 mark. Feces, open air drug use, and exploding crime rates due to decarceration now define San Francisco and Los Angeles as much as the Golden Gate Bridge or the Hollywood sign. But progressives in and out of government love all the dystopian destabilization, so it's all good as far as they're concerned.
During California's COVID lockdowns, Gavin acceded to every whim of the teachers' unions. Public school teachers refused to return to the classroom, preferring to indoctrinate their students via remote "learning." Consequently, urban schools in Cali didn't reopen until the 2021-22 academic year. California's schoolteachers were ecstatic about their 18-month paid vacation, but kids suffered badly.
Additional COVID "relief" resulted in at least $20 billion stolen through identity theft, fraudulent claims, and likely the active participation of California's DEI-obsessed racial bean counters, the corrupt Employment Development Dept.
Statewide homicides in Cali increased 23% while Gavin was buffing his personal brand during his first year as Governor (2019-2020) while smash-and-grab robberies skyrocketed under the Gavin-endorsed Proposition 47.
Gavin's obligatory demonization of white males is of course de rigeur throughout Democrat politics. As part of the racial pander, Gavin promised billions in "reparations" for black California residents, including de facto nationalization of public and private property to be redistributed along racial lines.
On so-called anthropogenic climate change, under a Newsom presidency, hundreds of billions of tax dollars and subsidies will go to government-aligned NGOs, businesses, industries, and individuals hyping clean energy as a solution to unsupported claims about imminent climate collapse (think of thousands of self-enriching climate bureaucrats, grant-seeking climatologists, and Solyndras feeding at the taxpayers' trough as they fly to junkets in their private jets).
On illegal migration, Gavin will reopen the Southern border to millions, declaring the United States is an illegitimate country on stolen land and the nation has an ethical and Biblical responsibility to feed, clothe, and shelter the entire Global South – and accord them citizenship, voting rights, DEI/affirmative action privileges, and recompense for their grievances.
In Gavin's America, if you're a conservative running a small private business – say, a Christian bakery – and you politely decline to bake a cake for a gay wedding and kindly refer the customer to another local bakery, American judges and the entire weight of the federal government will come down on your neck, bankrupt you, and put you out of business. If, however, you are a big, powerful left-wing private business like Google, YouTube, or Bank of America, and you systematically deny conservatives access to your products and services, or censor, de-list, de-platform, or de-bank conservatives, hey, rock star judges declare it's constitutionally hunky-dory.
How about terror groups funded by US taxpayer dollars like Somalia's al-Shabaab? Ha ha, in blue states like California and Minnesota, voters think al-Shabaab is a 50s Doo-Wop tribute band.
The Democrats' stated aim of abolishing the electoral college would mean even if Gavin lost 49 of America's 50 states by 100,000 votes each, he would still win the popular vote and the presidency if he simply won basket case California by five million votes.
All of this and more will go national if Gavin is elected President, and the unreformable and monolithic apparatus of far-left government will eagerly revert to its pre-Trump status quo.
Of course, by 2028, Gavin's personal and political scandals (like his pathetic response to the Palisades Fire) will be mostly forgotten by an electorate that can barely remember what happened last week, let alone three years ago.
A complacent GOP sleepwalking into the next election cycle should heed the words of Saul Alinsky: Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it. 
The brothers are previous contributors to Enter Stage Right. An abridged version of this article appeared in American Thinker.
